She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
