he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
