yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
