Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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