and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i drank out of a bidet.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
