just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
