Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
