and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
My cat gives me a boner
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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