1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Randomize
