farters have to be the big spoon...
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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