wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
He has the fingertips of a God
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