Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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