Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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