she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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