Yo dont text me then not text me
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I FOUND THE LEGS
A+ Viking dick
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
