Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
