I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
