This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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