I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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