Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize