I wannas sexs uuuuu
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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