birth control should be required to get into college
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
