You don't have asthma, your pregnant
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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