This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
