why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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