My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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