actually, I'm a sock model
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
