Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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