I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
