I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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