have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
