ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
