at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
