They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I still have a little drunk in my system
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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