Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
