Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize
