so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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