I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
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