Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
God, you're like boner-b-gone
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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