im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Randomize
