put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
