hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
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