we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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