thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
