4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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