so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
