He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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