Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
