I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
