I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
