honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
