Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
